By my second semester in graduate school, I became so busy balancing schoolwork and real-life activities and especially fandom activities that I neglected this blog.
Right now, the world is still struggling with the pandemic, and given new work arrangements I’ve had a lot of time to think and reflect.
Since my last post, I finished graduate school in autumn last year and now I’m back working full-time.
The two years in Japan went by so fast, and until now I wish I did more things while I was there. Of course, I couldn’t do everything due to time and financial constraints.
Before coming home, my favorite Takarazuka topstar, Asumi Rio, retired and I was lucky to be able to see her final show a few times. I had prepared myself for a while now and I was right to start studying in 2017 so I could see the last half of her career. It was especially lucky that I got to see the first concerts ever done by Takarazuka Revue at Yokohama Arena, even if I got seats that were added due to demand (i.e. the view wasn’t very good). Although I wasn’t around long enough to see her last day which was shown in theaters, still, I was glad to see her live in her final production.
I managed to see several of my favorite Japanese artists live including NEWS, L’Arc~en~Ciel and Hyde, Nissy, and AAA. Unfortunately, I didn’t win any tickets to an Arashi concert despite joining their fan club.
I balloted for their Kokuritsu concert but the pandemic has canceled everything. I was supposed to see L’Arc twice in March which would be only the second time I would see them and it was canceled less than 2 weeks before. I was supposed to see NEWS in May, which I timed to see Arashi if I got tickets to Kokuritsu but their entire tour has been canceled.
The past few months have been hard as a fan of NEWS. We’re now down to three members and while I am still not entirely accepting that we won’t see them as 4 members anymore, I am determined to support both. I’ve been their fan since 2007, I’ve grown up following their career, and saw them go from 6 to 4 and now 3 members. This year’s tour would have been the last time they performed as 4 members since Tegoshi revealed since his departure that he originally planned to leave after the tour. Until now, it still pains me to think of how we were denied a proper farewell. I’ve chosen to remain positive about this situation and wish them all the best. Maybe someday when things change we can see them perform together again.
AAA also announced an indefinite hiatus at the end of 2020, and I won’t be able to see them on their final tour either. Last year, I could have seen them live one more time but certain events pushed back their tour and I lost my chance. I was lucky to have gone to two of Nissy’s tours though, and I also got last-minute tickets to their fan meetings in 2019 when it became clear their tour would be much later in the year.
In my country, we’ve been on different forms of quarantine since March, and I’ve been reporting to the office only a few times since June. As someone who prefers staying at home, even this quarantine has been difficult. I go out to buy groceries and that’s about it. I’ve been meaning to study Japanese more, although I end up watching Jdramas and Jmovies aside from catching up on music.
This year I was betting on Kokuritsu as my last chance to see Arashi before they go on hiatus. If they decide to push through with it within 2020, I’m afraid I have to pass. I don’t think the pandemic will have gone away by then and I would not risk traveling outside my country any time soon even if the policies are relaxed.
After graduating, I mostly made up my mind to be less active in my fandoms especially for music by just collecting their CDs and DVDs. With the recent events, I came to realize that I’m not ready to do that. I still haven’t given up on my dream of living and working in Japan. Over the two years I spent there, I got a taste of what that would be like. It would be very different if I was working though. I would probably have less time, but I can certainly plan better, and being there means I have better access and opportunities to support my favorite artists.
I agree that this pandemic has taught us to re-evaluate the important things in our lives, and for me especially, has made me realize that I should not give up on my dreams. My goals have shifted and though I accept I may never land my ideal job, there are many ways for me to achieve my dreams.
For now, I want to do well in my current job while planning and saving for the next few years. Having a full-time office job makes it difficult to really set aside time for everything, especially studying Japanese while catching up on my hobbies. But I hope to write in this blog more often.
inksmearedfingers 